The Butler Did It: My True and Terrifying Encounters with a Serial Killer by Pender Paul

Author:Pender, Paul [Pender, Paul]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Publisher: Mainstream Publishing
Published: 2012-05-02T16:00:00+00:00

21

The Great Escape

A robin redbreast in a cage puts all heaven in a rage.

William Blake, Auguries of Innocence

BLUNDESTON PRISON, NEAR LOWESTOFT in Sussex, was a state-of-the art high-security prison that stood in 90 acres of inhospitable land made even less welcoming by the permanently chill wind blowing in from the North Sea. It cost half a million pounds to build and had CCTV cameras throughout. It was one of the first places in the country to have such surveillance everywhere.

Everywhere, that is, except in the prison kitchens – a fact that Roy was quick to note. No one had ever escaped, and it was confidently assumed that no one ever would. Roy had other ideas.

He naturally sought a job in the kitchen, as that was traditionally where security was weakest in any prison. He got the job, which surprised him, given that ‘the last time I’d been in a prison kitchen I’d blown it up’.

‘I was lucky,’ he said. ‘The prison authorities were either very forgiving or kept crap records. I discovered it was the latter. They knew I’d made an escape attempt at Parkhurst, but the stupid cunts didn’t bother checking out the details.’

He explained the importance of the kitchen from the point of view of the aspiring escapologist.

‘Whenever I found myself in a new prison, the first thing I would do was check if there were any kitchen smells. Now why do you think I did that, son?’ he asked, staring at me intently in a sorcerer-and-apprentice kind of way. Sadly I failed to come up with an answer. He sighed as if to say I’d never be more than a very junior member of the criminal club, and explained, ‘If there are no kitchen smells, that means the place has big ventilators. And big ventilators usually go out through the roof. Which means that if they’re big enough you can go out through the roof too.’

From his cell, he could see a rooftop skylight. He decided from its placement that it must be for the ventilator shaft. Further investigation revealed that the ventilator itself was located in a locked cupboard behind the kitchens. Resourceful as ever in the criminal arts, he used baking dough to make a copy of the lock, from which he made a makeshift key in the metalwork class that the authorities had helpfully provided for his rehabilitation.

Needing help with his master plan, he befriended George O’Neill, a prisoner with the reputation of being a good escapee. Together they worked out the details. When the coast was clear, Roy got into the cupboard, from which he could see the small window above. Using a long piece of string to judge the angles, he calculated the window’s circumference and cut it out on a piece of newspaper. George held up the paper and Roy successfully crawled through it. They were elated. The skylight at the top of the ventilator shaft was big enough for them to climb through.

Roy decided that they should make their escape on a day when several English FA Cup ties were being played.

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